Cling Film, Monkey Gland Burgers & Salty Cracks…

Now Jo’berg is renowned for being not the safest place to visit, recent news reports show people being car jacked whilst waiting at red lights in broad daylight! A quick check on the Internet highly recommends security-wrapping luggage to dissuade baggage handlers rifling through your gear and having it away with your best frilly knickers (not mine you understand).
So it was with a cheery wave goodbye and final good advice from Kelve to “not stop at red lights and under no circumstances walk anywhere in Jo’berg” that we headed for the luggage security desk. Call me old fashioned (or a tight Yorkshire git) but £10 for what turned out to be 30 yards of cling film wrapped around our cases seems a little excessive – but hey ho, better safe than sorry!

12 hours later…
Call it coincidence if you will but the last 2 cases off the luggage belt were indeed the only 2 cling wrapped items – the international frilly knicker thieves had conspired to hold our bags till last, no doubt to repay the obvious trust we had in their honesty!

Having successfully negotiated the ‘sorry, no booking in that name’ conversation (which explained the lack of driver to pick us up from the airport) we made it to the lodge.

The safety conscious amongst you will be pleased to know that on our walk to the local shops for lunch we did not stop at any red lights and did not mug any locals!

What the hell is a “monkey gland burger”? it was on the menu and no I didn’t ask – I didn’t want to know!

2 steak dinners, a bottle of wine, a beer and a coke later we paid the £13 bill (Kathy was convinced she had screwed the exchange rate up – but it is really is that cheap) we headed to the local minimart to get a snack in for the evening, I don’t know about you guys but I’m not putting my mouth near anything called saltycrax…



these guys really need help naming their food a little more attractively!
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