Africa is relaxed, some would say slow when you arrive it takes time for the body clock to reset. Once set to Africa time though you start to enjoy the chilled nature of the people, they NEVER rush, they take time to stop and say hello, to talk and to smile. Everywhere we have been people smile and say hello, they ask us how we are, they are interested, they wish us well.

We have a 30 hour journey, 4 airports, 3 countries and 2 continents and we arrive into a snowy Heathrow, the M25 is jammed. The journey though is not one of geography, it is across a cultural divide, we're back in England, no one smiles, no one says hello and no one stops to talk.

It's gloomy and I don't mean the weather!

Africa, we will be back.

Our last night in camp was again eventful. Firstly I (KC) woke up convinced there was a warthog on the tents veranda area and so woke Dave up, who on further inspection pointed out it was in fact an impala, 20 feet away. A few hours later we both woke up to loud growls outside the tent and visions of angry lions on the prowl flashed through our minds. False alarm as it was just a very angry hippo having a bit of a moan & shout.

The next morning a quick breakfast, off to catch our twelve-seat plane to Zanzibar. On the way, we had to make a stop at another camp to pick some more guests up and supposedly drop one guest off. Unfortunately when we landed it appears the guest had other ideas and had actually gotten off already at the wrong camp (unbeknown to the pilot). Next stop Dar Es Salaam to change planes for Zanzibar. Thankfully the plane was waiting for us so off one twelve seater onto another. On board there was only 2 seats left so I grabbed the window seat and buckled up, turned around only to see the door had been closed and no Dave. In a very nervous voice I called out his name only for him to shout back “hello”.
Yes you’ve guessed it, he was only bloody sat next to the pilot in the cockpit with a grin spread from ear to ear, oh well at least that meant I got a bit of peace for the next 20 minutes. And we did not crash!

We land on a dirt track, there are two impala males going horn to horn on the runway fighting for territory & the female herd. If the 12 seater propeller plane hits them their dominance worries are over (and perhaps mine). Our pilot uses all his skill & many years experience to avoid the showdown. He is 23 and has a tube of pringles on his lap!

We are close to the 4 way border of Botswana, Namibia, Zimbabwe & Zambia, so we crossed the river to Chobe reserve park in Botswana for a days Safari. Chobe is 11,700 square kilometres with 100,000 elephants.

The Kazangula river crossing (plus immigration. plus street vendors, plus drunks) was an adventure in itself – more than compensated though by everything from a tortoise, through pregnant Hyena to a game of chicken - truck versus huge bull elephant. Apparently, you have to face them down – occasionally the trucks lose!

The morning boat safari, 3 hours spent cruising along the Chobe river (amongst the hippos and crocks!). An hour at the lodge for lunch, then back out in the 4x4 jeep, it’s low season so we had it to ourselves.

Looking out across the Chobe river we have a 40 strong hippo pod in the shallows, wading birds on the banks and fish eagles soaring above, then out of the bush, trumpeting with delight a family herd of elephants dash and splash into the water. The babies as excited as any kid going to the seaside – magical!

We watch for 30 minutes as the herd go through the daily ritual of drinking, then washing, then digging for salt in the shallows, after this they queue at various mud baths for their turn to role and cover themselves with mud, there is a very specific social order dictating who gets first go at the mud. Only the babies get to break this rule (and every other). Then after covering themselves with dry sand they congregate for a social gathering.

After a full day we head back to camp threatened by the rising waters of the Zambezi – the rains in central Africa are heavy and it is expected that the high water mark will reach the same as the great flood of 59!

The water is just breaching the suspension bridges (between the stilted tent platforms), this has risen 1 meter since our arrival just 4 days before! We are the last guests staying here as the lodge will now have to close, phew!

Today we took a walk through a typical Zambian Village, I wondered if this would be a staged affair but no tribal dancing troops with feather dusters stuck in their caps here! Here people were getting on with their lives, children gutting fish and ladies baking bread in convection ovens contrived from termite cement and scavenged car parts, genuinely warm friendly people and children eager, laughing and pointing to see their photos on the camera LCD.

Our first game drive in the ‘mosi-o-tunya’ park, a small reserve next to Victoria Falls, which turned out to be a successful start to our animal spotting…










Baboon, bison, buffalo, crocodile, elephant, fevet monkeys, giraffe, hippopotamus, impala, warthog, white rhino, wilder beast, zebra and the pet cat from the resort!



But by far the most moving experience was the early morning boat trip back at the lodge. The guide Chris and myself 10 meters off shore in a canoe watching an elephant on the banks of the river and over the next 10 minutes a family group of 30 elephants padded out of the bush to join it, drinking at the waters edge.


An amazing sight to see the bulls guarding on the outer edge of the group, the females along the waters edge watching for crocs whilst the babies drank from the river.

I’m grinning like a Cheshire cat!

So many things to talk about it’s hard to know where to start!

The Room: indeed has no walls, we have without doubt ‘a loo with a view’ each morning we are awoken around 6am with by Hippo’s grunting, monkey’s howling and bird’s singing. In some strange way the mossy net around the bed makes us feel safe.

The Sunset River Cruise: on the first night here was fantastic, in a 16ft powered canoe off we went to experience the Zambezi. Brian our river guide explained his expertise in the animals & about the attack zone for hippos and how to avoid getting in their personal space. Fortunately for us his expertise for getting out of their personal space very quickly also came in handy. Being chased by an angry hippo certainly introduced us to Africa.
Hippos kill more humans than the ‘Big 5’ combined!





The Crocs: we haven’t seen one yet but we have eaten one (not a whole one though).

The Elephants: sitting on the back of a bull elephant as it sways through the game park ripping up whole trees for exercise certainly made for an interesting start to Kathy’s birthday. As always a close up experience with these beautiful animals never fails to impress.

The Falls: as you walk closer the thundering of the water can be heard, multiple rainbows appear in the mist and then the shear awesome power of the water surging over the almost 1.8km long falls opens up before you, a truly spectacular sight but this is only the start. Trekking the opposite precipice of the gorge, the mist turns to drizzle, to rain and then to tropical downpour culminating in a walk over a narrow footbridge hundreds of feet up whilst being hit from every angle by water, this is one experience not to be missed (or climb inside your washing machine an set it to 30 degrees spin cycle, it’s probably similar).





The Helicopter: offers a very different (and dryer) view of the falls, we opted for an extended 30 minute flight which not only gave amazing Vic Falls views but also gave the pilot time to scare Kathy silly by flying into and through the gorge before passing over the game reserve where we spotted elephant, giraffe (Kathy pointing this out shouting “look Zebra”) and the 2 white rhino (very elusive from the ground).

The Friends: we met with Brad and Josie for beers after the heli flight to catch up on their amazing trip – half a year making their way from England to Australia. Complete coincidence to be in Livingston at the same time, read all about their trip at http://therudducks.blogspot.com/

The Snake: Drama back at Tongabezi with the staff throwing stones at a snake to chase it off the reception stairs before they let us pass. Chande kindly informed us that the anti venom for this (deadly) spitting cobra is not available in the area! We hurried back to the room to get behind the all-protecting mosi netting.

The Meal: floating on a private candle lit barge on the Zambezi was I am sure a delight for the mosquitoes however we gave up feeding them and returned back to dry land for our main course and power cut to end the birthday evening (candles lit up the riverbank, walkways and rooms which was all very lovely).

The End: It has been a long and packed day – we’re going to slow down tomorrow with a couple of game drives and some R&R time in the day.

Now Jo’berg is renowned for being not the safest place to visit, recent news reports show people being car jacked whilst waiting at red lights in broad daylight! A quick check on the Internet highly recommends security-wrapping luggage to dissuade baggage handlers rifling through your gear and having it away with your best frilly knickers (not mine you understand).
So it was with a cheery wave goodbye and final good advice from Kelve to “not stop at red lights and under no circumstances walk anywhere in Jo’berg” that we headed for the luggage security desk. Call me old fashioned (or a tight Yorkshire git) but £10 for what turned out to be 30 yards of cling film wrapped around our cases seems a little excessive – but hey ho, better safe than sorry!

12 hours later…
Call it coincidence if you will but the last 2 cases off the luggage belt were indeed the only 2 cling wrapped items – the international frilly knicker thieves had conspired to hold our bags till last, no doubt to repay the obvious trust we had in their honesty!

Having successfully negotiated the ‘sorry, no booking in that name’ conversation (which explained the lack of driver to pick us up from the airport) we made it to the lodge.

The safety conscious amongst you will be pleased to know that on our walk to the local shops for lunch we did not stop at any red lights and did not mug any locals!

What the hell is a “monkey gland burger”? it was on the menu and no I didn’t ask – I didn’t want to know!

2 steak dinners, a bottle of wine, a beer and a coke later we paid the £13 bill (Kathy was convinced she had screwed the exchange rate up – but it is really is that cheap) we headed to the local minimart to get a snack in for the evening, I don’t know about you guys but I’m not putting my mouth near anything called saltycrax…



these guys really need help naming their food a little more attractively!